There is an odd feeling.
Encompassed and suffocated by one’s infliction of their feelings on you
While you attempt to sift through your own self-loathing and self-deprecating thoughts, you find yourself blocked. You must make two separate piles – one for yourself, which you treasure and hold for your own space, and one inflicted on you by someone appearing to be of help.
You’re at the fork in the road.
Self-destruct in solitude or with help from a ‘friend’.
It’s dizzying to keep sitting and remaining confused.
Nauseating to keep the same thoughts ruminating on repeat like a corny pop record –
At one point, you even chastise yourself for failing to have moved past this thought:
mental, physical, emotional roadblock.
Then a light flickers across your darkened cave of despair
“Come closer,” the light whispers.
You heed to the scintillating call, and are jolted into the light.
A place where doubt is absent and love abundant
The light holds the visions your heart was too cautious to ask for
The light is a place flickering full of intensity, euphoria, and dare I say–hope.
mariahgoesabroad 