All things tangible and wrought with feeling
Now numb, distant, surreal
In an instant, I held you was your courier on the hunt for gifts
Now, unemployed and confused
Stolen from me, your smile and laugh no longer shake the walls of this house
Only the echos of my wails melt into these walls
The innumerable usies you demanded to ensure Facebook knew how fly you were
Are now solo portraits constantly reposted with the hope of evoking your spirit somehow
One more laugh, one more failed stepping lesson, one more walk to Daddys house for a spell.
I’d remove myself from this wretched world to end this loss
Your light penetrated and touched the corners where pain had blocked the possibility of transparency.
Your warmth jolted me from a cave of self loathing and pity and compelled me to move
Your embrace soothed the achy parts life had ravaged and destroyed to no avail
Your love shook me and held me when I was bursting at the seams
And now your loss has revealed a deep impenetrable cave of hardness, despair, and dissonance
Only the memories of your warmth can suture me back properly
mariahgoesabroad 