Unfinished
Once someone has traversed all the rough terrain, excavated through your soul like a corrupt archaeologist, they reach their destination.
fighting through minefields thinly veiled as insults, boundaries, and separation they arrive at an a dark cave never discovered
As your own gatekeeper — you have set the qualifications, hoops to jump through, and prerequisites for any human who should make the attempt
You in turn feel foolish for letting someone come and wreak havoc on your delicately tilled inner parts
Carefully irrigated, synced with monsoon rains to nourish and yield the best crops of love, tenderness, and intimacy
How did this become?
You misread signals- impossible. You carefully curated experiences meant to wring all honesty out of candidates and decide how to move forward.
How did this happen?
So resolute and convicted to move in silence — you failed and allowed an intruder disguised as a friend enter. No true commitment to you or increasing your you-ness, and as predicted..they slithered out as quickly as they slid in
Slid behind walls ; warm with excitement, promise, and blindly…even hope
As thoughts dried and crusted up, so too, did guilt and shame you once held.
And finally, an exhale.
It is not your fault he did not know what to do with your warmth. Bundle it up and store it inside you until you feel ready to try again.
mariahgoesabroad 